My lady has two wolves on her shield.
As I met her circle of friends, I began to realize, that people with
certain heraldry seem to show certain personality traits. Wolf people
tend to be dangerous on the battlefield, and slow to warm up to
potential friends. Foxes, with or without soxes, tend to be witty and
clever and so on. I have a stag on my shield and have run into few other
proud Herbivores. (We take all the predator smack talk in stride- to us,
they all just so many “antler ornaments”) These heraldic archetypes
reminded me of the astrology of the 70’-80’s when everyone wore their
zodiac sign on a gold chain around their necks. “Don’t mess with a
Scorpio, etc. etc”. So without further ado, and compliments of your
local herald-ish interpreter, here is your SCA Heraldic Zodiac “Bling”
Nautica: Nautical’s are the fluid types in the Heraldic wheel of
life. While your surface can be smooth or stormy, they often times
conceal great depths. If your heraldry includes water, ships, anchors,
sharks, skulls and crossbones, chances are you are a Nautica.
This week: Say “Arrrr” to the one you love. Avoid Floritanicals,
and invest heavily in belaying pins.!
Predatoria: Lions, Tigers, and
Bears, (oh My!). Whether you run with a pack, or prefer dining solo, if
your heraldry includes fur, fangs, and eating lots of protein, chances
are, you are a predatoria. Predatoria, prefer to stalk their problems,
and deal with difficult people over dinner.
This week: You don’t have to be
Alpha to be loud and proud! Flea season is just around the corner, so
find that grooming buddy.
Herbivoria: If your heraldry includes Hooves, or Horns, a high
fiber diet and tendency to dance on your enemies, you are Herbivoria.
Herbivoria tend to had a direct approach in dealing with things, and
keep their eyes on the horizon. When they decide to move, everyone get’s
out of the way.
This week: Stop ruminating, and blaze some new trails. Don’t be
afraid to kick up your heels!
Crittoria: Variety is the spice of life! If you have a heraldic
creature that’s more economical in size, chances are you are a critter.
From bat’s to bumblebee’s, from wombat’s to weasels, if your submission
made the heralds say “Huh” you have the Crittoria nimble mindset.
Crittoria like to look at the world from unique perspectives, and are
looking for that special niche in life.
This week: Mercury is trippant- can you say “roadkill?” Avoid
road-rash decisions, and stay close to your honey!
Avians: People with Avian heraldry can be diverse. Some (Eagles,
Owls and Hawks) like traveling and fast food. Others, like Ravens and
Crows, are curious, and want to put something shiny away for tomorrow.
But despite their diversity, all Avians like to look at the Big Picture,
and need a chance to get away from it all. This week; Avoid the Mob-bing
and call some friends!
Mythicals: If you do “Old school” Heraldic, like Dragons, Unicorns,
Wyverns, etc. you are a mythical. Mythical’s tend to like puzzles, are
picky about who they hang with, and are big on tradition. Mythicals are
always looking to create that magical moment.
This week: This current crop of Hero’s ain’t so heroic. Keep your
Chimericals: Chimerical’s are the Heraldic Wheel’s tricksters.
Talons on a fox? Why not. Goat, Lion and Dragon head, all together?
Sure. Why not add flippers? Magical and Mundane, Chimericals are often
of many minds about things. They make great diplomats.
This week: Help plan a banquet, and strut your stuff!
Flora-tanicals: Believe in the Green. Flora-tanicals know that in
the end, they always win. Big on setting down firm roots, and exploiting
each nook and cranny, they are the most methodical and optimistic of the
heraldic signs. For them hope is always blossoming.
This week: Don’t be so stiff, and try to turn over a new
leaf. Break out the perfume!
Implementia: Axes flash, Broadswords, swing! If it be a shovel, a
weapon, or a wheel (spinning or otherwise) you are Implementia. Refined
and purposeful, Implementia’s are all about hard work, and keeping to
the task at hand. While not outgoing, if your friends help maintain your
relationship, they find you very productive.
This week: Things are a bit edgy. Polish up your people skills!
Geometricals: Loving Broad stripes and bright stars, Geometricals
are colorful people, who don’t have much to say, but say it with impact.
Big on planning, but not on fuzzy, Geometricals are happiest when
defining the world around them.
This week: Be straight with others, and remember- help people to
be colorful, and not color-less.
Miscellania: Pink Hearts, Yellow Moons, and pretty Rainbows, the
Miscellania tend to be elemental and whimsical, believing that it will
all work out in the end. If you just don’t fit in, anywhere else,
chances are you are one of the broad minded and accepting Miscellania.
This week: No matter how hard they try, there will always be that
one sock left over. Hee-hee-hee!
In Submittia: Always hopeful, they know that life is never
certain, and put whatever they like on their war-shields. In the ranks
of the Submittia, you’ll find the Jackalopes, the Cthulu’s, and the
Klingon “Birds of Prey”. While many people may find they fit this
category, they know that it’s the journey and not the destination that’s
This week: (and the one before that, and the one before
that….) “Outlook cloudy. Naturally.”
Enjoy your Heraldic Zodiac Signage, and remember- if you see star’s on
that shield, it could be that Sir Drogo just hit you with a big war
THL Thomas “Human Target” Whitehart is also known as “True Thomas the
Storyteller”. His website is